Geese inspire a lot of affection in Las Vegas — a controversy blew up last year in Spanish Trails when residents weren’t down with the country club’s aggressive extermination program. (The birds pooped too much.) Geese have many likable qualities: Long-lived, they mate for life, tend to their young for lengthy periods, and populate the valley’s public ponds and preserved wetlands.
They also act like jerks. Google “Why are geese so mean” to see the internet’s agreement on this — or just visit a park with a goose-enhanced pond. Last time I did, I wasn’t sure I’d escape the honking mob with my life. They’ve been known to attack teen golfers. According to Popular Science, geese “will chase down just about anything: children, adults, bicycles, even cars, and frequently knock humans and other predators to the ground …” No wonder they’ve often been used in place of guard dogs.
But it’s not because they’re mean. The reasons are more mundane: They’re large, territorial, protective of their goslings, and have lived among us for so long they don’t fear humans. Humans return the favor — it seems 61% of us think we could take a goose in a fight. Well, sure. As far as I can tell, a goose has never killed a person without flying into a jet’s engine first.
Still, if you’d rather avoid getting beaked, next time you’re confronted by a park goose, here are a few tips: 1. Don’t escalate. 2. Don’t turn your back. 3. Definitely don’t run. And if it just won’t leave you alone, you can always play fowl: Show it Jacques Pépin’s classic recipe for roasted goose with crispy skin.
- Another aggressive creature: Invasive crayfish 🦞 at Wetlands Park! [City Cast Las Vegas 🎧]
